Dogging Etiquette: The Unwritten Rules

Dogging only works because everyone sticks to a few unwritten rules. Follow them and you'll be welcome back at any spot in the country; ignore them and you'll find yourself sitting alone in a dark car park, or worse, explaining yourself to a police officer. Whether you've been going for years or you're planning your first night out, here's how to do it properly.

Consent comes first

Dogging is about consenting adults having fun, and consent matters just as much in a car park as anywhere else. A couple putting on a show hasn't automatically invited everyone to join in: wait for a clear invitation before you get involved, and if the answer is no, or you just don't get an invite, accept it gracefully and move on. There'll be plenty more opportunities.

The same goes if you've played with someone before. Last week's fun doesn't mean you can stick your hand, or anything else, through the window this week. Listen to what people say at every meet, respect the boundaries they set, and keep your language friendly. The regulars remember who's good company.

Not everyone parked up is a dogger

Car parks and lay-bys are shared spaces. The car next to you might be someone enjoying the view, eating their lunch, waiting for a friend or taking a nap. Lorry drivers have to take regular breaks by law, so the lorry in a well-known lay-by might be looking for some action, or might just be trying to get some sleep.

So never assume. A couple having sex in a car may simply have nowhere else to go, rather than wanting an audience. If someone seems interested, a friendly look or a polite question is the way to find out; if they ignore you, take the hint and leave them be.

Always use protection

Sex with strangers carries a real risk of sexually transmitted infections, from chlamydia and gonorrhoea to herpes, syphilis, hepatitis and HIV. Many infections show no symptoms at all, so someone can honestly believe they're clear when they're not. Bring more condoms than you think you'll need, use them every time, and never assume bareback is on the cards unless everyone involved has clearly agreed to it.

If you're active on the scene, get tested regularly. NHS sexual health clinics are free and confidential, and many areas offer free home testing kits too.

Keep it away from the public

Most dogging spots are places the public use too: country parks, viewpoints, picnic sites and car parks. Dog walkers, ramblers and families have every right to be there, and they're not part of the fun. Stick to the times the spot belongs to the doggers, usually late evening and after dark, and pick corners out of sight of roads, footpaths and houses. The bigger your group, the harder that gets, so think about where you gather.

If a member of the public does come along, stop, be polite and give them space. Don't argue, and don't try to win anyone over. Staying out of sight is good manners, and it also keeps you on the right side of the law: our guide Is dogging legal in the UK? explains why.

Respect everyone's privacy

Dogging happens in public, but the people who do it still have jobs, families and private lives. Never film or photograph anyone without asking first, and never share pictures or videos without everyone's permission. Think carefully before giving out your own full name, phone number or home address, too: you can always share more once you've got to know someone.

Respect the car park

Car parks are popular for good reason: you can drive in, see what's going on and decide whether to stay. But they come with rules. Check the opening times and any charges, don't stay past a time limit, and don't fill every space when other people need to park. Never use a disabled bay unless you're a blue badge holder, and don't block gateways, entrances or the road outside.

And if a car park is locked at night, don't try to get round it. Gates and closing times are often how a spot was saved from being shut for good.

Leave no trace

Nothing gets a spot closed faster than litter. Used condoms, wrappers, lube sachets and wet wipes don't break down, and the car park full of families tomorrow morning, maybe with an ice cream van in summer, really doesn't want to find them. Take everything home with you, or double-bag it and put it in a bin. The same goes for food and drink: wrappers attract rats and spoil the place for wildlife.

The rule is simple: leave every spot exactly as you found it, or better.

Don't trespass

A lot of the countryside is privately owned. According to research reported by The Guardian, half of England is owned by less than 1% of the population, so plenty of popular spots sit on land belonging to farmers, estates, companies or the National Trust. Trespass is usually a civil matter rather than a crime, but that's no reason to do it. If there's a "private" sign, a locked gate or a fence, treat it as off limits, and if a landowner asks you to leave, leave.

Keep a clear head

Go easy on the drink, or better still skip it. Alcohol makes people careless about condoms, consent and litter, and nearly everyone drives home from a dogging spot. Never drink and drive.

Why it matters

Good etiquette isn't just about being nice: it's what keeps spots open. Most members of the public never even notice the doggers. It's the litter, the bad parking and the encounters with dog walkers that bring complaints, then patrols, then locked gates. That's how the Bradgate Park car parks were lost to doggers from 2019; see our Leicestershire dogging sites for where the regulars went next. Look after the spots and they'll be there for years to come.

Find a spot

Ready to try it out? Our UK dogging sites list the spots in each county with a map for every one, and the top 5 UK dogging locations are a good place to begin.

Before you go

Find dogging sites in other counties: Dogging sites across the UK